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  Chase nudged at her hand, bringing her back into the moment. He’d bounded out of Sara’s truck the second they arrived, and even though he clearly wanted to explore, Izzy made him follow her inside.

  “I think he needs to go out, Iz,” Sara said, observing his behavior.

  “I know.” She looked at her weekend bag on the floor. “His leash is still in the car. Let me go grab it.”

  Sara shook her off, padding through the house to open the back door. “He’s free to roam,” she said matter-of-factly. “My house is his house.”

  “You’re nice,” Izzy said, coming up behind her. “I’m more concerned he’ll explore to one of your neighbor’s homes and mark their property too,” she said with an eyebrow raise.

  “Doubtful,” Sara responded. Izzy loved feeling Sara relax into her body as she spoke. “I’m on ten acres, so no neighbors to speak of, really.” She patted Izzy’s hand under hers. “Come on, let’s get unpacked. We can keep an eye on him from upstairs.”

  Izzy was busy filling a drawer Sara had graciously cleared for her, when an aged photo on the dresser caught her eye. It was a picture of several women with linked arms laughing their heads off. Izzy zoned in on the woman at the end, a mirror image of Sara with slightly darker hair.

  “Oh my God, Sara,” she said, lifting the frame to examine it closely. “This is your mother.” It couldn’t be anyone else, but still her voice held a slight question in its tenor.

  “It is.” Sara came up behind her and looked over her shoulder. “Those are her college roommates,” she offered. “I love this picture. She’s so young and happy.”

  “What does it say on her shirt?” Izzy noticed all the girls had big bold letters printed across their chests.

  “Tish.” Sara’s voice dripped with emotion—a touch joyful and nostalgic at the same time. “They all went by these silly nicknames. Bunny, Muffy, LaLa. It was something to do with their sorority, I think.” She rubbed her fingers along Izzy’s arms. “My mother’s name was Elizabeth, but to her friends and family, she was Beth.”

  Izzy heard something in Sara’s voice and she turned to face her just to see the expression in her eyes.

  “She had this boyfriend in college. Tim. He called her Lizzie-Tish.” She let go a small happy laugh. “Aunt Maureen says he was the love of her life. She would have let him call her anything.” She placed the picture back in its place on the bureau. “But she absolutely delighted in his pet name for her.”

  “What happened with them? Your mom and Tim? Do you know?”

  Sara’s nod was solemn. “He was in a freak accident their senior year. He’d gone home for the weekend to help his dad with a roofing project.” She shrugged, seeming to try to understand it herself. “He lost his footing and fell. Died instantly.”

  “Oh my God, that’s terrible.”

  “I know,” she agreed. “My mother never really got over it, I guess.”

  “Did she talk about him when you were growing up?”

  “Not really. Here and there she mentioned her boyfriend from college. My aunt has filled me in over the years.”

  Izzy swallowed hard, surprisingly affected by a story that was so long in the past. “Do you think…?” She let her voice trail off. “Forget it,” she finished with a shake of her head.

  “Tell me.” Sara’s expression was soft and curious. It made her heart melt.

  “This is probably stupid.” Izzy touched the faded writing on Sara’s shirt. “Do you, like, think they’re together now? Your mom and Tim? In heaven, or whatever?”

  Sara’s arms looped behind her and she watched as Sara drew in her bottom lip and worried it with her teeth. “I don’t know.” She kissed Izzy’s forehead. “I’m not sure what I think happens when we die.” She nodded toward the picture behind them. “I have entertained that possibility from time to time, though. It’s oddly comforting to me.” Some spirit came back into her smile. “Wherever they are, I hope they’re happy. And if they’re together, bonus.” She looked over at the window. “Come on, let’s go check on our boy and get dinner going.”

  It had been a long day with an early start, a full day of school, and the formidable drive to Sara’s, so they opted to eat in. Izzy opened a bottle of red and poured them each a generous serving. On her way to keep Sara company at the grill where she was in charge of the filet mignon and grilled veggies, she noticed Sara’s phone light up with a text from Nicole. She looked right at Chase.

  “Wouldn’t be a real date if the other woman wasn’t checking in.” He tilted his head to the side, her sarcasm clearly lost on him. She booped his nose and gifted him one piece of zucchini, proud of his natural even temper. “You’re a better person than I am,” she said, petting his head as she stuffed Sara’s phone in her back pocket.

  “Your other girlfriend is looking for you,” she said, handing over the wine and Sara’s phone, the playful lilt she tried to inject in her tone barely covering her frustration.

  Sara reached for her phone but used it to pull Izzy into a kiss before she read the message. Clicking it off without responding, she placed it to the side of the barbecue grill. “She just wanted to make sure I wasn’t alone for the holiday.” Sara sounded as though it was meant as a thoughtful gesture, but Izzy saw right through it.

  “She wants to spend the Fourth of July with you?”

  “Stop.” Sara turned their steaks delicately with the tongs. “It’s not like you’re making it sound.”

  “Come on, Sara.” Izzy brought her wine to her lips and took a small sip. “I’m not that naïve,” she said, trying to keep the bitterness from her voice. “And neither are you.”

  Sara looked into the darkening sky as if searching for something. “I’m not like you, Izzy. I don’t have this huge family that begs to see me every weekend.” Looking into Sara’s eyes, Izzy knew she was being sincere. “Nicole checks in on me. Maybe that doesn’t make sense to you and I know you think there’s something going on there, but you’re wrong.”

  “I believe there isn’t anything going on for you,” she said. “And I guess it’s considerate that she cares.” She pouted a little, dragging her finger down Sara’s biceps. “But you have a girlfriend. She should realize I’ll take care of you.”

  Sara looked away quickly, but there was no mistaking her reaction.

  Izzy was stunned, and not in a good way. “She doesn’t know about me.” Without waiting for Sara to explain she said, “Wait a second, forget about me specifically. Does she know you have a girlfriend at all?”

  “It hasn’t really come up.”

  “Fuck, Sara. Are you serious?” Izzy turned to head into the house to process her fury in private, but Sara stopped her.

  “I’m sorry. I can see you’re upset.” She lifted their dinner off the grill. “But you’re giving it more credit than it deserves.”

  “Oh, I am?” She didn’t even try to mask her anger. “My whole family knows about you. They can’t wait to meet you on Sunday, because I talk about you. A lot.” She willed her tears to stay put. “Because I care about you. A lot.” Her voice quivered with emotion she wished she could tamp down. She grabbed their drinks and headed into the house, hoping to harness a modicum of self-control.

  By the time Sara followed a minute later, Izzy had collected herself and solidified her argument. “If Nicole is truly supportive of you and her motives are as pure as you seem to suggest, she should be happy for you.” She doled out silverware as she sat down in the sleek wooden kitchen chair as Sara set their dinner in the center of the table. “Especially since you haven’t been together in forever.”

  Sara’s wince was subtle, but Izzy caught it anyway.

  “Sara?” She picked up her fork, but stopped short of spearing some squash. “How long has it been, exactly?”

  “It’s been ages since we dated.”

  Izzy held her breath. “Is there a but here?”

  “No.” Sara’s look was only marginally reassuring. “No,” she said again, standing uprig
ht next to her own chair, her body rigid as she gripped the smooth wooden frame. “In the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you we were together fairly recently. But it didn’t mean anything. Not to me or her,” she added defensively.

  “Together?” she asked. “As in, you slept with her?” She could not believe this. This was not happening. It took every ounce of her restraint to remain calm.

  Sara nodded. “Izzy, it was before I knew you. Back in March sometime.” She sounded apologetic, even though they both knew it was ridiculous to expect celibacy before they met. “It was nothing,” she said sincerely. “But I’m telling you because I would hate for it to come out later and for you to think I kept it from you.”

  “Why? How?” she asked before retracting the questions with a wave. “Forget it, I don’t want to know.”

  “It was just something that happened.” Sara shook her head, giving an answer even though it wasn’t required. “I was drunk, a little lonely.” Her tone indicated she knew her explanation was hardly a justification, but she looked remorseful nonetheless. “It had been a very long time since I’d been with anyone,” she added, seeming embarrassed at the admission.

  “But you two are together all the time now.” Izzy heard the distress in her tone and she was sure Sara picked up on it.

  “I know,” Sara said, walking over to Izzy’s chair and crouching beside it. “And I miss you terribly when I’m away. You’re all I think about.” She reached for Izzy’s face and held it. “Nicole and I…it’s not like that anymore. Honest.”

  “How can I trust you?”

  Sara’s slight smile was gorgeous and pure. “Because you can. Because you should. Because you do.” She kissed Izzy delicately on the lips. “I would never do anything to betray you.”

  Without one iota of proof, Izzy believed her. There was something in her eyes that was too genuine to be dishonest, and it relaxed her to see Sara’s feelings were real despite the hard truth she’d just revealed. Still, Izzy bristled a little inside, and after dinner was cleared away she suggested making it an early night.

  Sara didn’t protest at all and Izzy felt certain her anxiety over the topic of conversation showed, but Sara said nothing as she climbed into bed in loose boxer shorts and an oversized tee. Under the covers, they moved around one another carefully, barely touching, and Izzy hated the distance, but ultimately the drama of the evening took its toll and she drifted off to sleep.

  Hours later, halfway in slumber, she turned on her side, instinctively slipping her hand around Sara’s waist. Sara answered by covering Izzy’s hand with hers and backing into her ever so slightly so their bodies aligned. She laced her fingers through Izzy’s and squeezed as though she was attempting to convey the entire depth of her emotion through one single touch. Izzy leaned forward and kissed the cotton shoulder of her tee, still half asleep as she released Sara’s hand and found her smooth bare abs. She let her hand drift up to her nipples, knowing how hard they would be before she even touched them. Immediately, Izzy flooded with need.

  Even shrouded in sleep, Sara seemed to read her perfectly. In the pitch-black room, Sara turned and faced her, her mouth finding Izzy’s in a second, covering it and kissing her deeply. Her moans were deep and hungry, and when Izzy felt her tongue along the roof of her mouth, she slid her hands up Sara’s soft muscular back and ripped her shirt over her head. She felt Sara kiss her way down her face and neck greedily, pulling her tank top down and sucking her nipple hard between her teeth. Sara momentarily broke their connection but only to remove Izzy’s tank altogether, and Izzy couldn’t keep from spreading her legs wide beneath her in response.

  “I want you,” Sara said against her neck.

  Izzy squeezed her eyes closed feeling her heart pound. “I’m yours,” she whispered in Sara’s ear, tipping her hips upward so Sara could remove her panties.

  When Sara entered her, Izzy felt her breath catch and she heard Sara gasp audibly, undoubtedly a reaction to her immeasurable wetness. Sara filled her, and even though she couldn’t determine if it was one or two or three fingers, her touch was perfect. She throbbed against Sara’s hand, and in that very moment, their eyes locked. Even through the darkness, Izzy saw Sara’s whole heart revealed in a look that was at once possessive and passionate.

  With her orgasm building, Izzy pulled Sara close, digging her fingers into her back and bucking rhythmically beneath her. Her moans were loud when she came, and she did nothing to suppress them, instead allowing herself to fully revel in the pureness of the moment, selflessly given to her by this woman she was completely in love with.

  Izzy felt her heart swell as Sara cradled her from behind, kissing her neck gently and breathing in her ear. Sara’s voice was so low and husky it was nearly indecipherable. But when Sara held her close and whispered, “I love you,” Izzy heard the words distinctly before falling asleep in her arms, praying to the gods above it wasn’t all a dream.

  ***

  “Nope. This is mine. Get your own.” Izzy licked peanut butter from a spoon as she exchanged an unrelenting glance with Chase begging at her side.

  “You’re mean,” Sara said, shuffling down the stairs toward Izzy and Chase in the kitchen. She opened up her cabinets but turned around with a frown. “I got nothing for you, big guy,” she said with a sincere pout. Leaning over to give Izzy a good morning kiss, she said, “I could make you a real breakfast you know.”

  “Sorry.” Izzy finished up her tablespoon of sugary protein. “I couldn’t wait.” She licked her lips and wiggled her eyebrows. “You did quite a number on me last night.” She placed the spoon down in the basin with a clink. “I woke up ravenous.” She watched Sara continue to rummage through the kitchen cabinets and cupboards. “You do remember last night, right?” she said, mostly kidding.

  Sara dropped a look on her that told her she was crazy for asking. She stepped right into her space and her kiss lingered. “Of course, I remember,” she said. “All of it,” she added seriously, making Izzy wonder if she was referencing her sleepy profession of love.

  “Praise Jesus,” Izzy said, breaking the moment. “Because if I dreamed all that, I’d be seriously concerned for myself.”

  Sara dropped a kiss on her nose before bending down to check under the sink. “Nope. Nothing.”

  “What are you looking for?”

  “Dog treats.” She held her hands up in surrender. “But honestly, now that I think about it, I’ve never had a dog here. Hence the lack of treats.”

  “Hear that, Chase? You’re the first.” Izzy petted his head lovingly. “Why don’t you have a dog?” she asked. “I mean John has Duncan, Gilmartin has Jett. Hayes and Reyes have dogs. What’s the story?”

  Sara started to brew some coffee. “I’m sort of between dogs at the moment.” She reached for the cream from the fridge. “After Rocco died…He lived a good long time,” she added. “After he passed, I fostered a retired explosives dog, Murphy. I didn’t have him for very long. He was at the end of his days too, and for some reason his handler couldn’t keep him. I forget the circumstance there,” she mused.

  Izzy laughed outright and Sara questioned her with a single look.

  “I’m only laughing because I think it’s ironic you can’t remember the circumstances surrounding the handler, but I’m a hundred percent sure you know the details of the person the dog was named after.”

  Sara’s smile was telling and sweet. “J.J. Murphy. He was a twenty-two-year-old soldier killed in action in Afghanistan in 2004.”

  “See?”

  Sara answered with a shrug, but she was clearly flattered by Izzy’s obvious respect. “Murph was a good boy,” she said with a nod. “Served his country well. Both of them, of course.”

  “But what about now?” Izzy asked. “You’re allowed to have one, right? Even though you’re not an agent?”

  Sara nodded. “Of course. Rocco was a demo dog.”

  “Oh, right.”

  Sara reached high for two coffee mugs, setting them on
the counter as she spoke. “The dogs don’t know the difference between a real situation and practice.” The coffeemaker signaled a completed brew cycle. “Actually, I take that back. I think they can sense the difference. They pick up on it from their handlers. What I mean is”—she poured them each coffee—“a dog used primarily to demonstrate tactics is just as valuable as one working in the field.” She retrieved some blueberries and ran them under the faucet. “That was a long explanation,” she said making fun of herself. “The answer is yes, I am allowed to have a dog,” she finished with a laugh.

  “So what gives?” Izzy asked, stirring sugar and cream into her coffee.

  Sara placed the blueberries on the breakfast bar. “The truth is…” She inched the bowl of berries forward to Izzy. “God, I haven’t told anyone this,” she said with a small grin.

  Izzy covered her hand in support while she waited to hear what Sara had to say.

  “I’ve been thinking about raising a dog all the way up.” Sara’s gaze shifted to their hands gently touching. “Usually we get the dogs when they’re eighteen to twenty-four months old. They already have basic obedience and olfactory training. We hone that, sharpen it, work the handlers, develop teams.” She shrugged. “Thing is, I’m certified in all those areas. Obedience, scent imprinting. I’m a nationally recognized expert in training. I get called to testify all the time for cases that go to trial based on canine detection.”

  Izzy hung on her words, breaking contact only briefly to snag a few berries.

  “My point is I would like to do it myself. Get a puppy and start from a truly clean slate.” Sara looked adorably nervous and excited all at once. “I guess I’ve been holding out for the right time. But I suppose that’s sort of now.”

  “Sara, that’s amazing.” Izzy leaned forward on her stool so she could reach over and hold Sara’s face, bringing their lips together for a kiss. “I think it’s a perfect idea.”